How I Become A Conscious Pimp

If God herself had told me that one day I would be living in the Mayan Jungle with some of the most experienced and functional conscious sex healers, theater people, and sexuality teachers in the world…

Well, honestly depending on what stage of life I was in, I probably would have looked at you like you had two heads, but then shrugged and buckled in for the ride.

At the time I was doing a type of personal experiment. I was saying “yes” to whatever I could and seeing what life had to offer.

After moving from Compton to Kansas City and immediately getting into a suffocating toxic monogamous relationship I was ready to see what was possible when I stopped limiting myself by what I had thought was impossible.

So when I connected through an online facebook group for ecstatic dance with this free spirited beautiful wanderer tantrica woman I was already primed.

I saw a post she made in response to the then-recent George Floyd murder and I commented on it. She responded and soon we moved the conversation to text.

Our sparky relationship developed quickly. I soon became infatuated with her work. She introduced me to topics of sacred sexuality and conscious energy exchange. It resonated with feelings and truths I had held for so long but never felt safe to explore or express.

Before long she was asking me to move to the jungle just outside of Tulum, MX to help with a conscious sex education tech start-up.

I was to utilize my skills and experience as a life coach and become the “Comfort and Counsel” staff member. I would also come to head the Diversity and Equity program.

It sounded insane. A few years ago I would have laughed, said “that’s impossible” and chalked it up to “another dream for another life”.

As it was the year of “yes”, I applied for my passport.

It would be nice to skip the pandemic anyway.

It was when I went to my first cenote when I realized why this was the perfect spot to have one of the most profound, spiritual, and practical educational experiences of my life.

If you have not yet been to these underground cave tropical natural swimming pools, you need to get to a cenote soon. They are said to be the most spiritual places on Earth.

I was plunged headfirst into the world of Sacred Sexual Shamanic Theater and Ritual. There was an organization closely related to the one I was with which continues to have a profound effect on my development and growth.

I have never been one for ritual. I find it to be frivolous and full of needless martyred self-torture. I have always been much more interested in practices where I can see physical or actual results.

At first I must admit I played along. Can you blame me? I was living in a paradise with 30 humans of which only five including me were male-bodied. Almost everyone was single or polyamorous and they all took joy in teaching me the ways.

What began somewhat as a tongue-in-cheek “Let’s see if this stuff works” attitude quickly became one of the most serious and transformational frames of mind I could hardly imagine.I originally came with intentions. I wanted to learn as much as I could. I wanted to become an even better connector and communicator.

But also I wanted to overcome my obligation to perform in the bedroom. I was treating my sexual encounters like a job and not something that I could enjoy connecting with a partner.

When it came time to match up with someone to perform a ritual on me I was lucky that someone in the group that I admired and was really crushing on volunteered excitedly to perform one for me. I was thrilled.

She gathered some preliminary information from me about what I was healing and what my desires were. Then I left her to devise.

What actually happened during the ritual is something you can ask me about in person. And I might tell you.

But what I can say is that this purpose-driven ritual definitely understood the assignment and then some. It very acutely addressed my compulsion to perform.

In fact it opened up so much in me that affected many other areas of my life. Some of those things I am still allowing to unfold today.

Needless to say the experience shifted how I thought about a lot of things. Most of which was the way I viewed sex and sexuality. I was no longer ashamed. I saw the transformational power up close and personal.

The practical shifts I saw were immediate. When I got back to the states I had a few encounters with old lovers. Every one of them commented about how I had shifted and grown as a lover. Physical disagreements as well as emotional ones were cleared up.

There was an obvious shift and an infusion of magic. It was very clear. Every time I would have a new encounter my partner would say how the experience healed them or opened something up in them.

One of my new partners was an artist who had done murals all over multiple cities but had recently been in a months-long drought. After our encounter she suddenly began painting beautiful pieces again within hours. She credited my inspiration.

With the help of one of my other lovers I zeroed in on what the magic was they were feeling. I asked her if there was something magically different about my cock.

She reassured me that my cock was fine.. But my true strength was in the connective element. It was my ability to empathize and see all perspectives. I felt safe, I showed up in my authenticity, and I genuinely wanted to feel what my partners felt.

It was then that I fell in love all over again. I fell in love with myself and my sexuality. I recognized the healing and creative power this energy had. I saw it as a key piece towards creating the world I envision. This was a world of unity, support, and a global society.

I quickly realized how wrong I had been before when I would judge sexuality. I see how society is afraid of it and tries to shame us into hiding it and not talking about it.

It is the one thing that is completely natural to us and that we are all fascinated by. But we shame it out of each other and ourselves which negatively affects our overall health.

I did the research and was appalled at how we as a people treat our dear and important benevolent sex healers. The numbers are even more disgusting when you look at minority and trans sex workers.

This is important work and it is being stifled.

These reasons are the basis for my coaching work, and for the formation of DreamHaven. I want to help continue fostering a safe place for us to do our very important work. Abundance is our birthright and we intend to claim it.

I want to show men how to consciously connect.. To themselves and to their partners. I want to show how to explore your sexuality proudly and move beyond consent to co-creation.

I want to help us all attain sexual health, which is general health and includes getting our needs expressed and met in a transcendent way.

Community is one of the most important aspects of life, our work, and play. In Community we can create the discussions that are the cornerstone of creating the life we want and so desperately need.

Your sexuality and desires are not shameful. In some cases they are the very elements that light the path to our freedom. DreamHaven is here to hold your hand and help guide you as we walk that path together towards our destiny, freedom, and bliss.

“Zoom out!”

-Dream